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Order of Man: Protect | Provide | Preside

We are reclaiming what it means to be a man. Each week we interview the world’s most successful men on the planet - elite athletes, warriors, New York Times Bestselling Authors, and world-class entrepreneurs – extract their hard-fought lessons and experience and deliver them straight to you. Past guests include Jocko Willink, Tim Kennedy, Andy Frisella, Lewis Howes, Grant Cardone, Ryan Holiday, Ben Greenfield, Rich Roll, and so many more. If you’re ready to level up your life as a man, this is the show for you.
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Now displaying: 2017
Dec 29, 2017

I’m looking at a few of my investment accounts this morning and one of the things I’ve invested in this year is cryptocurrency. As of this recording, Bitcoin is over $17,000. But, what I want to talk with you about today has nothing to do with the financial markets. The only reason I bring that up is because I’m amazed at how often people are willing to speculate in something as volatile as Bitcoin and, yet, when you ask them how they’re investing in themselves, all you hear is crickets.

Now, I don’t know where Bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies are going to be in the next 12 months and longer. Depending on when you’re listening to this, it could have skyrocketed even higher or completely crashed and burned. But, what I do know is that finding a way to invest in yourself this year will always prove to be a good investment.

So, today, I thought I’d cover six ways you can and should invest in yourself. Again, this is not going to have anything to do with any financial markets. I am a financial advisor by trade but I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk with you about the best asset you’ll ever have – yourself. And, if that’s truly the case, you’re going to want to invest more heavily in yourself than you have in the past.

This year alone (2017), I will have invested roughly $30,000 in myself. Some of you may think that’s low and some of you will think that’s high. Either way, it’s all relative. The more you can invest in yourself the better. In fact, I recommend earmarking funds from your paycheck each month to invest in yourself – at least 10%.

So let’s talk about 6 ways to invest in yourself.

www.orderofman.com/FFN088

Please leave us a rating and review!

Dec 26, 2017

Finances is such a huge component of living your life to the fullest. But in my experience, it's often one of the most overlooked. Not because men don't believe it's not important but because it's often complex and challenging to get your money to work for you.

One of the most commonly asked questions I get is, "What book would you recommend for personal finances?" Although there's a ton to choose from, there hasn't been one that I consistently feel good about recommending. That is until now. My friend, Deacon Hayes, the author of You Can Retire Early joins me to talk about developing a personal financial plan, how to sift through all the financial noise, three investment vehicles to consider (including a quick conversation on Cryptocurrency), and how you too can retire early.


SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

  • What is "retirement" and how is it changing
  • The importance of finding your why
  • Knowing the right time to retire
  • How to develop a personalized plan
  • When and if to hire a financial advisor
  • Three must-avoid pitfalls of financial planning
  • Software available to help you build wealth
  • Why Cryptocurrency should fall into your plan
  • How to sift through all the noise
  • The most effective way to pay off debt
  • Three investment categories you should invest in
  • The power of the right environment
  • How to deal with financial setbacks
  • Commonly held financial myths


DEACON HAYES


Today, my guest is personal finance blogger and author Deacon Hayes. I actually met Deacon years ago when I launched my first podcast many of you don't even know about.

We've since had the opportunity to talk about blogging, podcasting, and of course money (which is something we're both passionate about).

Deacon has been featured in Yahoo Finance, US News, Investopedia, CNN Money, and many more and has recently wrote a book, You Can Retire Early.

You're going to hear in this conversation why Deacon is well-qualified to talk about money and finances and learn through his approach that the financial conversations and planning needed aren't really as complex as many institutions would have you believe. Get the note pads and your dusty old financial plans out and learn how you can retire early.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/145

Website: http://orderofman.com

Dec 22, 2017

Whether it’s the argument that you got in with you wife, the way you treated your children, how you may have handled a situation at work, or with a client, there’s no doubt that all of us have faced guilt in our lives. This is natural and, actually, a productive emotion to experience.

I know a lot of you, when I say that guilt is productive, are wondering what exactly I’m talking about but I firmly believe that the range of emotions we experience – even the negative emotions are helpful. Negative (as well as positive emotions) are simply indicators of our lives. They tell us what’s going well, what’s not going well and where we need to focus our attention and energy in order to produce new outcomes.

It’s when we dwell on these emotions or allow them to cripple us from doing the work we know we should be doing that it becomes a problem. And, I see this time and time again with the men within The Order. They make a mistake they regret and, rather than learning from it, they wallow in their own self-pity and completely incapacitate themselves and their ability to move on and improve as a result of their mistake.

Look, I get it. I’ve made mistakes that I haven’t been proud of but dwelling on the past does nothing to enhance your future and there certainly isn’t anything you can do about it other than you those mistakes as fuel to alter the course of your life moving forward.

And, that’s what I want to talk with you about today. I want to talk with you about three very simple steps you can use to overcome the destructive power of unchecked emotions. Let me be clear though, I’m not talking about hiding emotions or just getting over it. I’m talking about using these powerful feelings we all experience to do the work of a man.

See, there seems to be two sides of the fence on this. One side says, “Men don’t express emotions.” The other side says, “Men need to be vulnerable.” I don’t sit fully with either camp. I think there’s a time and place for everything. There’s a time I can and need to be vulnerable and a time, where I need to simply get over it and re-engage in the work that needs to be done.

www.orderofman.com/FFN087

Please leave us a rating and review!

Dec 19, 2017

When I talk about "reaching your full potential," it's a challenge because reaching your full potential is pretty difficult to define, and it's a moving target. Once you think you've reached it, you realize you've only scratched the surface on what you can do.

Today, I talk with someone who is striving every day to do some amazing things in his life and helping you do the same. This is a powerful, powerful episode where we deep dive into some uncomfortable conversations about taking charge of your life and producing big. We cover the excuses we like to tell ourselves, learning how to take imperfect action, how to dominate and crush competition, and striving to reach your full potential.


SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

  • What is the American Dream
  • Overcoming your excuses
  • Learning to take imperfect action
  • How to dominate and crush the competition
  • The difference between being broke versus being poor
  • How to thrive on disadvantage
  • Increasing ambition
  • Finding your hidden genius
  • The power of mentorship
  • How to find and add more value
  • Tapping into your fullest potential
  • Developing self-confidence
  • Building a proper relationship with money
  • Becoming more decisive


BEDROS KEUILIAN


Men, I am so honored to introduce you to our guest today, Mr. Bedros Keuilian.

He's a coach. He's a mentor. He's an author. But, more importantly he is an owner in several multi-million dollar business including the owner and founder of Fit Body Bootcamp which is one of the largest and most successful franchises in the world.



You're going to hear the tremendous odds this man overcome including migrating to the US, eating out of dumpsters, having lice washed out of his hair by his mother with fuel, and so much more.



He's been featured in Inc, Entrepreneur Magazine, Dr. Oz, Huffington Post, and so many more publications and today he's here to talk with us about reaching our full potential.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/144

Website: http://orderofman.com

 

Dec 15, 2017

It’s been said that, “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.” I believe that’s true. We have so much access to the world’s greatest minds and thinkers and all we have to do is tap into those minds through the power of their written words.

I didn’t always think so highly of reading. In high school, I would do whatever I could to get out of reading and doing book reports. In fact, the only book I remember reading was The Old Man and the Sea which is, of course, a classic. But now, I read at least 50 books per year. I make it an objective of mine to read one per week.

I get a lot of questions about how I’m able to do this and, although that’s not the subject of today’s podcast, I do want to tell you it’s very simple. I commit to reading for at least 30 minutes per day. Every single one of us have 30 extra minutes in the day and, if there’s one thing you can do to spend that time most effectively, it’s reading. Again, you’re tapping into the most powerful minds and ideas in the history of this planet. Incredible.

So, with that said – and just in time for the holidays and last minute Christmas shopping – let me share with you five books that are an absolute must on that list of 50 I would suggest you read. Keep in mind that these are in no particular order.

www.orderofman.com/books2018

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Dec 12, 2017

Every time I bring up a conversation about style as it relates to masculinity, I'm met with hesitation because, "real men don't care about what they wear." And, while that sounds good to say, it just isn't true. If it were, we'd all walk around naked or a baggy t-shirt and sweat pants everywhere we go.

Besides, your style is a powerful tool in building influence, gaining confidence, and creating opportunities for yourself. My guest today is my good friend, Tanner Guzy with Masculine Style. I've learned more from him about what I wear, what it says about me, and how it's perceived by others in the last couple years than I have the rest of my life. And while it's hard to quantify the results dressing well produces, there's no doubt there's a connection between what I look like and my income, confidence, and influence.




SHOWNOTES

  • 
The difference between power and appeal
  • How your clothing communicates to others
  • Tactics vs. strategy in what you wear
  • The 3 style archetypes
  • 6 factors to choosing your style
  • How to focus on meaning versus just looking good
  • Where confidence stems from
  • How to improve your style without having to wear a suit
  • How to maintain practically and still look good
  • How to overcome the need for validation in the way you look
  • How to develop and maintain influence with others
  • Why every man should focus on improving his style


TANNER GUZY


Gentlemen, my guest today is my friend Tanner Guzy. Tanner and I met years ago. In fact, he was the second guest I ever had on the show.

I used to balk at the idea of dressing well because I thought it was more about what's inside a man than what he's wearing. And, while there is validity to that, our style says a lot about who we are.
Tanner is a deep thinker (which I appreciate) and goes well beyond how to wear a suit and what shoes go best with what pants. He delves deep into the why and the psychology of what we wear and how it produces results in our lives.

And, that's what we're all about here - producing results. And, if I can take learn just one thing about what I wear that will help me in my life, you can bet that I'm going to do it. Tanner is going to show us how.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/143

Website: http://orderofman.com

Dec 8, 2017

This one is a little different for you today. Normally, on Friday, you get to listen to me talk about some things that have been bouncing around in my brain but, today, you get to listen to an on-the-spot conversation between me and my friend Collin Cottrell.

Collin and I went on a hunt together about a month ago. This was my very first hunt and I thought you’d enjoy hearing about it and the lessons that I learned along the way. So, I asked Collin (again, my friend and founder of Activate the Hunt) to interview me and, of course, I interview him about what goes into a successful hunt and why he does what he does.

www.orderofman.com/FFN085

Please leave us a rating and review!

Dec 5, 2017

Running a business can be a challenge. I know, I own two of them. At times, things seem to be firing on all cylinders and at other times, it seems like I'm just barely hanging on. Regardless of where you are with your business (and even if you're an employee of a business), there is always something to be learned in how to run the operations more effectively.

My guest today, Cameron Herald, grew 1-800-Got-Junk from $2,000,000 in revenue to over $106,000,000 in just six short years among other amazing business accomplishments. We talk about developing a board of advisors, attracting top-quality talent, creating work/life balance, the art of delegation, and how to develop, operate, and expand a business.

SHOWNOTES

  • How to inspire a team
  • Developing a management style
  • Scaling business operations
  • Running team meetings effectively and efficiently
  • Attracting top-quality talent
  • Developing a board of advisors
  • Finding work/life balance
  • Starting the morning off right
  • The power of delegation
  • 4 rules for a powerful business meeting
  • Creating a vivid vision
  • Utilizing a Chain of Command


CAMERON HERALD

My guest today, Cameron Herald, is a speaker, author, and business coach working with Chief Executive Officers and Chief Operating Officers around the world.

What I like most about Cameron is his no-B.S approach to building and scaling businesses. He has such an ability to cut the heart of the matter and eliminate anything that keeps businesses from growing.
As you heard earlier, Cameron grew 1-800-Got-Junk from $2,000,000 in revenue to $106,000,000 and has led and operated multiple other $100,000,000 business.

You'll see why that is as you hear Cameron and I talk about scaling businesses, the things that keep a business from thriving, and how to make the most of every single minute to maximize results within employees, officers, and the organization as a whole.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/142

Website: http://orderofman.com

Dec 1, 2017

The other day, I had made a comment in our Facebook Group about being a Patriarch. Someone suggested I put that phrase on a shirt but I thought it would be better to explain it here.

Very simply, a Patriarch is the male leader of a family. It’s becoming painfully obvious that we are lacking male leadership in the home. Divorce rates are on the rise as they have been for some time and the amount of young boys and girls who are growing up without fathers is scary to even think about.

And, I don’t even think we’ve begun to see the fallout from the leaderless homes. Already, we see young boys and girls confused about their gender, we see violence, addiction, and the fact that the sexual misconduct perpetuated by men is seemingly climbing. I can’t help but think that a lot of these problems could be addressed by worthy and honorable male leadership in the home.

I don’t think all of this would go away but if more men would lead their families the way they’re meant to be led, much of the negativity we see in society today would dwindle.

I want to be really clear here. I know there are situations in which the mother is responsible for leading the home. Maybe dad is out of the picture for whatever reason. But, regardless, a man’s influence in the home cannot be replicated.

Men and women are different. Where women are great in certain areas, men fall short. And, where men are great in certain areas, women fall short. This is why it is so crucial that there be both a masculine and feminine presence in the home.

Specifically, I want to talk about the masculine presence in the home because that’s where we as a society seem to be falling short.

Look, if you’re a father and/or a husband, your job is to lead. Period. You are designed to lead. You were born to lead. And, what’s really fascinating is that the majority of women I talk with who tune into what we’re doing here are craving men who lead with honor, strength, and integrity.

So today, of all the factors that make you and I the Patriarchs of the family we’ve been called to be, I want to talk with you about three specifically.

www.orderofman.com/FFN084

Please leave us a rating and review!

Nov 28, 2017

There was a time in my life when I felt as if I was living for everyone else. I woke up to a marriage that was in shambles, a business that was failing, a bank account that seemed to be in the red more often than it was in the black, and a lifestyle I hated. That has all changed for me.

My guest today, Hunter McIntyre, although taking a different path, was also living a life other than what he really wanted. That was until he found Obstacle Course Racing and the passion for life you'll hear in his voice. Today, we're going to talk about how that discovery changed his life, how to identify where you need to grow most, the power that comes in trying new things, and how to life life on your terms.


SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

 

  • Identifying where you need to grow most
  • The value of meditation and self-talk
  • Developing story lines that serve you
  • How to refine who you are
  • The power of trying new things
  • Why selfishness isn't always a bad thing
  • How to shine your light for others
  • Discovering what the world needs from you
  • Learning to let go of things that no longer serve you
  • Cultivating the right attitude for life
  • How to keep the your fire burning


 

HUNTER MCINTYRE

Guys, today I have the privilege of introducing to you Hunter McIntyre.

Hunter is a Professional Obstacle Course Racer, a two-time winner of Steve Austin's Broken Skull Challenge, and is one of the highest paid Obstacle Course Racers in the world.

What's even more interesting is that what we might recognize in Hunter today was nowhere to be found when he was younger. Most of his younger years were spent doing drugs and getting drunk, run-ins with the law, and several rehab stays.

Eventually, he found his way into modeling working with J. Crew and Abercrombie and Fitch. But, it wasn't until he found Obstacle Course Racing that he truly transformed his life. I just watched this guy compete in the Spartan World Championships in Tahoe. He is the real deal. He is loud. He's in your face. But, there is no doubt he thinks big and lives life on his terms.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/141

Website: http://orderofman.com

Nov 24, 2017

I wasn’t going to talk with you about gratitude because everyone is going to be talking about it with Thanksgiving and it seems to be a little played out but that thought goes against what makes gratitude so powerful in the first place.

I truly have so much to be grateful for and, regardless of your station in life right now, so do you. When, we overlook (like I was about to this year) all that we have to be thankful for, we forget that we already have so much in our lives and life is good.

www.orderofman.com/FFN083

Please leave us a rating and review!

Nov 21, 2017

4 years ago, I was fat, out of shape, and miserable. My relationships were suffering. My business was falling apart. And, I was at a complete loss on how to turn my life around. That was until I began to take better care of my body and focused on making the most of the machines that are my body and mind.

Today,  I am joined by the founder of FitLifeTV, Drew Canole. We talk about his transformation as well as mine, the most powerful way a man can start his morning, how to embrace and learn from your mistakes, the power of a clear vision, and how you too can live the fit life.




SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

  • The best way to start your morning
  • The role of creation vs. victim
  • How to embrace your mistakes
  • The law of attraction
  • Building the structures and systems for a healthy life
  • Mastering your mindset
  • Why juicing is such a powerful way to get your nutrients
  • Why we do the opposite of what we know we should
  • What besides nutrition goes into living a fit life
  • Finding congruency in your life
  • To cheat or not on your meals
  • The power of vision


 

DREW CANOLE

Gentlemen, I've been looking forward to introducing you to my guest and friend, Drew Canole for some time now.

I've been following his work with FitLifeTV and Organifi for years and we when were able to finally connect and get him on the show, I jumped at the opportunity.

You're going to hear this guys' excitement for life as we discuss all things health related (which goes well beyond exercise and nutrition).

He is a bestselling author and, as I said before the Founder and CEO of FitLifeTV where he has reached millions of people across the planet on the topics of health, fitness, healing, and longevity.

Get your notepad out as Drew and I have an incredible conversation on living the fit life.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes 

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/140 

Website: http://orderofman.com 

Nov 17, 2017

Whether you’re trying to win the girl, get a job promotion, or get new clients, it’s critical that you wrap your head around the idea that you are a marketer. Today, I’m going to share with you why this mindset is so important, some of the pitfalls we should avoid, and some very simple strategies you can implement to help you get more in your life.

I know there’s a lot of guys who think that they’re not marketers or that somehow this is a shady way of looking at things but I can assure you it’s not. If you have a product (whether it’s you or some service or offering you have), you have an obligation to bring it to the market and share it with the world.

www.orderofman.com/FFN082

Please leave us a rating and review!

Nov 14, 2017

"Deep in his heart every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue." This is one of my favorite quotes about masculinity and, if you've been following us for long, you've heard it from me a thousand times.

Today, I am honored and have the privilege of talking with the author of that quote and one of my top 5 most recommended books on masculinity (Wild at Heart), John Eldredge. We talk about the secret to a man's soul, the single question every man needs to have answered, society's attack on gender, how to embrace authentic masculinity, and why every man is wild at heart.

SHOWNOTES

  • The secret to a man's soul
  • The single question EVERY man needs answered
  • Society's attack on gender
  • How to embrace authentic masculinity
  • How masculinity is earned
  • How to overcome being a poser
  • Pornography and the disintegrating family's effect on men and society
  • How to find out who you are
  • Why rites of passage are so important
  • How to focus more on your internal world than your external world
  • The collapse of gender
  • Permission to be men
  • The masculine virtues


JOHN ELDREDGE

I am honored to introduce you to my guest today, Mr. John Eldredge. When I set out on this journey to become a better man, his book Wild at Heart was one of my go-to resources for an understanding of who I am as a man and how men show up in this world.
At the time, I never thought I'd actually have the chance to have a conversation with him but after some back and forth and getting our schedules pinned down, we were finally able to lock something in.

John is an author, a counselor, and a teacher. He's been working with men and teaching them how to transform their lives for more than two decades. It's interesting to see that the book, Wild at Heart still strikes a nerve with men across the world more than 15 years after he wrote it. This is a testament to John's understanding of what we, as men, are really after in our lives and how to become the men we are meant to be.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes 

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/139 

Website: http://orderofman.com  

Nov 10, 2017

A lot of men seem to believe that arrogance is what makes you strong. It's not true. An over-inflated ego opens up to all sorts of blindspots. Where arrogance makes you weak, humility makes you strong.

www.orderofman.com/FFN081

Please leave us a rating and review!

Nov 7, 2017

Gents, today is a different kind of podcast and it's unlike everything we've ever done before. Last month I had the opportunity to head to the Spartan World Championships in Tahoe and was able to sit down with my friends, Sal, Adam, and Justin from MindPump Media.

They are a fitness company but we don't talk about anything fitness related as we sat down for an hour or so to talk about political correctness, the future of technology including planned communities and cryptocurrency, capitalism, and just about everything in between. Sit back, relax, and enjoy a conversation about everything and nothing with the guys.

SHOW NOTES

  • The plague of offense and political correctness
  • Why we're wired to look for bad news
  • The value of analyzing objective data
  • Understanding reality vs. what others are trying to portray
  • How capitalism creates harmony
  • State of current affairs
  • The future of planned communities and commerce
  • Why listening to opposing views is critical for growth
  • The advantages and disadvantages of modern technology
  • The relationship between gun ownership and gun violence
  • How to shut down bad ideas
  • The pitfalls of the two-party system
  • The future of cryptocurrency
  • The negative effects of artificially raising minimum wage

 

SAL, ADAM, AND JUSTIN WITH MINDPUMP

I've got three guests for you today, Sal Di Stefano, Adam Schafer, and Justin Andrews. They are the founders of MindPump Media which is a media company dedicated to giving accurate and entertaining information about the media industry, what works, what doesn't, and how you can get control of your health.

These guys have a combined experience of over 40 years in the industry and, although we don't talk a thing about fitness today, you can tell but the depth of the conversation we do have, these guys are very intelligent and extremely well-informed.

In a world that seems to regurgitate the same basic health information over and over again, Sal, Adam and Justin are extremely entertaining and bring a whole new perspective to the way we look at fitness, nutrition, and health.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes 

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/138 

Website: http://orderofman.com 

Nov 3, 2017

Take a look around society. We see a lot of weak people. Mentally, people allow the smallest of circumstances to get ahold of them and dictate their actions. Emotionally, they their emotions to get the better of them and, physically, people are unhealthy.

If you have any hope of becoming the man you are meant to be, you are going to need to learn to develop strength in each of those areas. And, the only way to get physically, mentally, and emotionally, is to embrace discomfort.

www.orderofman.com/FFN080

Please leave us a rating and review!

Oct 31, 2017

Today, I've got a different podcast for you today. My guest is Tim Ballard and he is the founder of Operation Under Ground Railroad, a non-profit organization designed to save children around the world from child sex trafficking.

My wife initially introduced me to Tim's work and, after following him for sometime, I'm inspired by the good he's doing in the world in the wake of some horrific atrocities more men need to know about. Today, we talk about stories of his team's rescues, how these young children are being helped to recover, how to find a calling in life, how to avoid "the flinch" when undercover, and the fight against child sex trafficking.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

  • The seriousness of child sex trafficking
  • Stories of children rescues
  • "Aftercare" and helping children recover
  • How to find a calling in life
  • How to avoid the "flinch" when undercover
  • The men behind these rescues
  • How meaningful work changes a man
  • How to rally people around a cause
  • Identification and extraction tactics and efforts
  • How you can get involved


TIM BALLARD

My guest today is Tim Ballard, the founder of Operation Underground Railroad, a non-profit designed to rescue the victims of child sex trafficking.

To date, Tim and his team have rescued 745 victims and assisted in the arrest of 365 traffickers around the world.

Originally, Tim worked for 12 years as a Special Agent with the Department of Homeland Security but became frustrated with the red tape and inability he had to actually remove these children from the horrible situations he was responsible for investigating.

In 2013, he left the department and founded Operation Underground Railroad. Today, we're going to talk about that process, the good he's now doing in the world, how to take action on the problems you see in the world, and how you can get involved in this fight.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes

 

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/137

 

Website: http://orderofman.com 

Oct 27, 2017

The following podcast is an excerpt from our new book to be released February 2018. If you would like to be among the first to know when the book is available, register here.

www.orderofman.com/FFN079


Please leave us a rating and review!

Oct 24, 2017

Recognizing that we, as men, wear masks might just be one of the most difficult self-evaluation processes we can go through. It's difficult because sometimes we've been wearing a mask for so long that it actually becomes part of who we are and how we define ourselves.

My guest today, New York Times Bestselling Author Lewis Howes, joins me to talk about why men are failing so many benchmarks, how to recognize and confront what is holding you back, why the masks we wear hinder our personal growth, and the 9 masks of masculinity.

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

  • What is the Mask of Masculinity
  • Why men are underperforming in every benchmark
  • The 9 masks we as men tend to wear
  • How to recognize which mask you might be wearing
  • The common thread between all the masks
  • How to confront the things that hold you back
  • How to stop defining yourself by the mask you wear
  • How our masks hinder personal growth
  • How to embrace discomfort and vulnerability
  • How to avoid overcompensating for weaknesses
  • How to better understand your emotions
  • Which mask I tend to wear

LEWIS HOWES

My guest today is New York Times Bestselling Author, Mr Lewis Howes.

I know a ton of you are already familiar with his work and what he's up to with his own company and podcast (which is listened to millions of times per month), The School of Greatness.

We had Lewis on the show a while back but since then, he has released his newest book, The Mask of Masculinity.

What I enjoyed a lot about this book is that Lewis really pulled back the curtain in his own life and you can tell by the way he's analyzed who he is and what makes him tick that this is a process he doesn't just talk about, this is a process that he's actually gone through and uncovered for himself.

Lewis Howes had a lot of success as a professional athlete (which hints at the mask he was wearing) only to find himself injured and wondering how he could redefine himself and tap into who he really is.

Gentlemen, gear up, prepare to challenge some thoughts about who you are, and let's unpack the idea of the mask of masculinity.

 

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Oct 20, 2017

As a lot of you already know, I interviewed Navy SEAL and New York Times Bestselling author, Jocko Willink, earlier this week. One thing that he said that really stuck out to me was the difference between former military members who are able to maintain their discipline after the service and those who aren’t.

I have personally seen both. I’ve seen veterans who make a seamless transition into civilian life and I see those that really flounder and I’ve often wondered what the difference was as well.

What Jocko said is that the difference between the two is whether or not they’ve found a new mission.

During my time in the military, the mission was always very clear to me. We were instructed on the objective, given our marching orders, then left to carry them out. But, when you transition out of the military, there’s no one to give you any marching orders and you’re left on your own to figure it all out.

What’s interesting to me is that one of my favorite authors, John Eldredge (who, by the way, just agreed to come on the podcast) happens to be the author of one of my favorite quotes.

He says, “Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, and adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.” I want to focus the conversation today on the first component of that quote, a battle to fight.

Men are warriors. Not all warriors have to be battle proven in war but I do believe it’s in our nature to look for problems, to be on the lookout for the enemy or, at a minimum, a threat to our livelihood and the people we have a responsibility for.

I look around in society today and I see men who have no real sense of direction or purpose. I know you do to - maybe it’s you. You look into their eyes and you can see that all the enthusiasm and excitement they may have once had is all but gone.

I would argue it’s because these men, as Jocko would say, have no mission or, as John Eldredge would say, they have no battle to fight.

So today, I’m going to encourage you to pick a fight – to pick a battle. I don’t mean a literal fight with someone or a group of people. I mean that I want you to take a look around at society and engage in a cause worth fighting for. This could be a career calling, a fitness journey, the family you’re working to provide, protect, and preside for. I really don’t care what it is but I do want to give you four steps to engaging in the fight of your life.

As I talk about these four steps, I’m going to give you a lot of questions as opposed to answers. I can’t decide what your battle is. You have to decide that for yourself and the best way for me to help you do that is to give you some questions to ponder and consider.

IDENTIFY THE ENEMY

The first step in picking a battle to fight is to talk a look around society and identify what you see as being wrong with the world. Write down everything that comes to mind. In a way, you’re identifying the enemy. Not a literal enemy but the thing you’re going to fight against.

For men, 3 years ago, I saw that there was a real problem with the state of affairs for men. Like I mentioned before, I’ve seen too many men who have lost the spark of life and don’t know where to turn. Couple that with the fact that society in general doesn’t like or approve of masculinity (until they need men to do something) and it became painfully obvious that there was a problem.

In many ways I set out to solve my own problems as I was one of the men to which I’m referring.

  • What bothers you?
  • What injustices do you see in the world?
  • What problems do you have in your personal life?
  • What could be better about this life?

The answers to those questions will help you identify the battle you may have been born to fight.

Remember, you’re not limiting yourself here. You’re just brainstorming.

RECON

Once, you’ve identified some problems with the world – the ones that are meaningful to you, you’re probably going to find a common theme between them. There are probably a few that overlap or stand out to you.

If that’s the case, I’d recommend you start doing some reconnaissance.

  • Who is already addressing this problem?
  • What solutions are already available?
  • How has this problem been addressed in the past?
  • What gaps are there in the solution to this problem?

When you start answering questions like these, you start giving yourself the power to do something about the problems you see with the world.

BATTLE PLAN

Once you’ve identified the enemy and you’ve done some recon regarding the battle already being wages and the gaps that need to be filled, you can start planning your battle.

  • What solutions will you offer?
  • How will you offer them?
  • What assets do you need?
  • What in your life do you need to improve in order to be the champion of this cause?
  • Who do you need to know in order to bring the fight?

Once you know the answers to these questions, you should then ask yourself, what is the next first step?

ENGAGE

You don’t have to have this all mapped out. You just need to know what the next step is because the next step in your battle is to engage.

Maybe it’s to create a website or a podcast. Maybe you need to ask for a promotion at work or propose a project to your employer. Maybe you just need to start talking about some of this stuff on social media.

I don’t know what this looks like for you but you’re going to feel if it’s right only when you start engaging in the fight.

It does no good to do all this planning without actually taking the fight to the enemy. I see too many men plan and strategize and think about what they want and then never do anything about it.

I want you to take the next first step. Once you’ve done that, I want you to take the next first step. Over and over again.

When you find yourself getting off track, adjust and keep driving. You’re going to feel it.

I know this isn’t easy, especially if you feel like your soul has been dead for some time now but I can promise you that when you follow these steps and choose your battle your soul will come alive for the first time in years. You’ll feel like you have a calling – a purpose again. You’ll walk around with your head held high knowing that you’re doing the work of a man. I know it’s certainly been true for me.

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Oct 17, 2017

There is no shortage of motivational events, courses, seminars, quotes, and memes. Don't get me wrong, motivation has its purpose but discipline is a far greater asset on your path to accomplishing big things in your life. Where motivation falls short, discipline picks up the slack.

Today, I'm joined by a man that needs no introduction, Jocko Willink, to talk about connecting future ambitions with present actions, why every man must find his mission, how to overcome fear and procrastination, and his mantra, "Discipline Equals Freedom."

SHOW HIGHLIGHTS

  • Why discipline equals freedom
  • Key military tactics that translate into civilian life
  • Anticipating the delayed results of discipline
  • The pros and cons of focusing on strengths vs. weaknesses
  • Where Jocko's discipline comes from
  • How to connect your future ambitions with your present actions
  • The importance of defining your path
  • How to develop mental strength
  • Why every man needs a mission
  • The role of accountability when it comes to being more disciplined
  • How to overcome procrastination
  • Rasing kids to be strong and disciplined
  • How to overcome your fear
  • Where to start: mental preparation or physical action

JOCKO WILLINK

Gentlemen, I am stoked to introduce you to my return guest, Jocko Willink.

I'm sure that you know Jocko but in case you've been living under a rock the past 4-5 years or so, let me introduce you to him.

He is a Former Navy SEAL and commander of Task Unit Bruiser (the most decorated special forces unit of the Iraqi War), a recipient of the Bronze and Silver Star, a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu Blackbelt, a New York Times Bestselling author of three books, and arguably one of the most disciplined men on this planet.

I, like you, have been following him ever since I ran across his book, Extreme Ownership, in Barnes & Noble and have been fortunate enough to develop a close enough relationship with him and his team that I when I heard he was coming out with a new book, Discipline Equals Freedom: Field Manual, I was able to get a message to him and get him back on the show.

Gentlemen, strap in, get your notepads out, and get ready to tune into one of the most qualified men I know to talk about how discipline will give you the freedom you're after.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/135

Website: http://orderofman.com

Oct 13, 2017

In October of 2016, Todd Orr was hiking in the mountains of Montana when he spotted a grizzly bear. He made eye contact and the bear ran off with her cubs over a crest in the distance. Only a few minutes later, Todd turned around to find the bear charging towards him. He pulled out his bear spray, fired, then collapsed as he found himself in a life and death struggle against a grizzly bear.

Not only did Todd survive, on his way back to his vehicle, he was attacked by the same bear again in a second life or death struggle.

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Oct 10, 2017

At times, we tend to get into our own heads and become our own worst enemies. We often write off anyone who happens to disagree with us, puts us down in any way, and label them as "haters."

But it's our natural tendency - especially as high achieving men - to be our harshest critics. It's valuable at times and drives us to do great things and, other times, it creates unnecessary barriers to our success. My guest today, Gary John Bishop, author of Unfu*ck Yourself joins me to talk about how to redefine yourself by becoming unrealistic, how to uncover the narratives we tell ourselves, the difference between knowing something and being aware of something, and how to get out of your head and into your life.




SHOW HIGHLIGHTS


  • How to get out of your head
  • How to develop a no-nonsense approach to life
  • The critical difference between affirmations and personal assertions
  • Why self-help is inferior to self-development and growth
  • How to uncover the narratives you tell yourself
  • Understanding the study of Oncology and how it applies to your growth
  • The difference between being wrong and being inaccurate
  • How to become more present in your life
  • The power of telling yourself you're an asshole
  • Why we should not concern ourselves with the past and the future
  • The difference between knowing something and being aware of something
  • How to redefine yourself by being unrealistic
  • How to interrupt the notion of who you already are


GARY JOHN BISHOP

Gentlemen, my guest today is Gary John Bishop.

He is a personal development expert and the author of Unfu*ck Yourself - which is a book I just picked up to read a couple weeks ago.

In reading it, I can appreciate Gary's no-nonsense approach to human development, and high-powered mentoring. And, I knew right away I had to get him on the show.

He's worked with top athletes and Fortune 500 executives in his personal development career.

This guy is real. He's raw. He tells it like it is and pulls no punches which is exactly what we, as men, might just need in order to come to some realizations about our own lives, how to get out of our own heads, and out of our own way.

Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes

Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/134

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Oct 6, 2017

Everywhere you turn you’ll find another “motivational guru” attempting to inspire the masses to take action. If you’re like me, you’ve attended conferences, purchased courses, and poured over endless quotes and memes in a feeble attempt to get motivated enough to do what you already know you should be doing.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing particularly wrong with motivation, other than it doesn’t last. We’ve all left that conference feeling inspired only to get back into the grind and lose the excitement within 24-48 hours.

Like a drug-user hooked on cocaine, we’re constantly on the lookout for the next conference that promises to inspire, amaze, and motivate us yet again.

We go. We spend the time, the energy, and the money. And, we even get motivated for another 24-48 hours, until our next fix is needed.

And that’s the problem. We become dependent when we seek motivation from outside sources. And those that host these conferences know that and bank on the fact that you’ll have to come back next year.

I’m not suggesting you don’t attend these motivational conferences. I’m encouraging you to dig deeper than the surface-level B.S. that seems to be so prevalent in today’s society.

But rather than beat my chest and shout a catchy little tagline that “Motivation is B.S.”, let me share five strategies you can start using today to become your own source of inspiration and, more importantly, action.

PLANT YOUR FLAG

We live in a world where everything is promised immediately. Through Amazon, you can be reading a book I recommend in the next couple minutes. We’re promised immediate results from the latest fat-loss hack. Even podcast like this one allow us to listen to any subject on demand free from any need to wait for or on anyone.

In most cases, this access to information, products, and services is a beautiful thing. The unintended consequence, however, is that our attention span and patience has been greatly diminished.

That’s too bad considering that your success in any area of life requires an insane amount of consistency over long periods of time.

If you’re looking for immediate results in your life, motivation might just cut it. But if you’re interested in maintaining a healthy, wealthy, and successful life, you’re going to have to wrap your head around taking action for a lifetime.

BE A MAN OF YOUR WORD

Planting your flag requires you to be a man of your word. If, for example, you’ve committed to working out 5 days a week, every day you miss makes you a liar – to put it bluntly.

Sure, we can sugarcoat it and make excuses for why we missed our workouts but at the end of the day, you did not do what you said you would and that, by definition, makes you less than a man of your word.

It’s a good thing then that the idea of doing what you say you will is a skill set that can be learned.

All it takes is effort and consistency. Even the smallest of task and the smallest of promises count. If you tell your wife you’re going to take out the trash, take out the trash. If you tell your son you’re going to play catch with him after school, play catch with him after school. If you tell a neighbor you’ll be there to help him move, be there on time to help him move.

Every time you fail to keep your word, a little piece of your soul dies. It’s no wonder then why so many men seem to be miserable. They can’t keep their promises to themselves, let alone to others.

When you wake up early in the morning to work out, don’t question whether or not you should. Question whether or not you’re going to be a man of your word today. After all, the promises you make to yourself are the most important you can make.

SYSTEMS AND PROCESSES

Part of being a man of your word is about creating systems and processes to ensure you are.

Let’s use the workout example again. If you tell yourself you’re going to work out in the morning, set your clothes out the night before, get your pre-workout drink ready, and know what your workout is going to be. These are three simple systems that will keep you on track when you don’t want to be on track.

Calendars, daily rituals, evening routines, task lists, electronic reminders, Field Notes journals, coaching, and masterminds are all examples of systems and processed you can implement to get your work done.

REVIEW YOUR PROGRESS

Out of all the systems we could talk about, I want to focus on the idea of reviewing your progress. Most men don’t. We tend to identify the task, do it (or don’t), then move right to the next task.

This process of reviewing your actions, conversations, projects, interactions, and day is a critical component of diving deeper than simply being motivated.

I learned the after-action review in the military which is a series of five questions you can ask yourself to review your work and get you pointed in the right direction every day. For the sake of time, I’m not going to share the questions but if you’re interested, you can get a copy of the After-Action Review at www.orderofman.com/afteractionreview.

DISCIPLINE TRUMPS MOTIVATION

After all is said and done, the mantra that discipline trumps motivation has been a huge help for me.

Motivation is external. Discipline is internal. We rely on outside sources when we seek after motivation. We depend on ourselves when we strive for discipline.

This is what makes discipline so powerful. We simple decide that we’re going to be disciplined rather than wait for the perfect set of variables to motivate and inspire.

When you’re struggling to get out of bed, or workout, or be consistent with the project at work or in school, remember and tell yourself, “discipline trumps motivation” or as Jocko would say, “Discipline equals freedom.”

Internalize it, get a bracelet that says it, tattoo it on your forehead if you have to but whatever you do life your life by the words, “discipline trumps motivation.”

This is not an overnight process, especially if you’ve been relying others to motivate you most of your life but remember to plant your flag, be a man of your word, develop systems and processes, review your progress, and live your life by the mantra, “discipline trumps motivation” and you’ll never want - or need - for motivation again.


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