Every single one of has fallen a time or two in life. And, everyone of us knows a man who has failed to get back up from that fall. It's not an easy thing to overcome the wounds of failure, but if we want to thrive, it's a requirement.
My guest today, Champion Muay Thai Fighter Chris Romulo, joins me to talk about finding the fight in us, the difference between ego and confidence, living by the mantra, "Fall seven times, stand up eight," and how to develop the fighter's mindset.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
• What is the "Champions Uprising"
• The fight that changed everything for Chris
• How to find your rhythm and flow in life
• Why timing is critical
• The importance of settling into life
• How to change your mindset
• How to find the fight in us
• The difference between complacency and getting comfortable
• How to overcome the pushback
• How to develop of fighter's mindset
• 7 factors of an uprising
• The difference between ego and confidence
• Living by the mantra, "Fall seven times, stand up eight"
Gentlemen, I am stoked to be introducing you to my guest today, Chris Romulo.
You're going to hear how impressive this man is in my interview today but you're also going to hear the humility that has turned Chris into a champion multiple times over.
Chris is a 6-time Muay Thai champion, and the author of his new book, Champions Uprising. He is also a fighting coach and the owner of CROM fitness where he teaches men and boys the how to fight, develop grit and determination, and the fighter's mindset both inside the ring and out.
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Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/133
Website: http://orderofman.com
I typically like to frame these discussions in a positive perspective but I do think it’s important that we occasionally look at the other side. Most people are more than willing to talk about what will make a man a success and, while I agree that’s an important subject to cover, just as important is the discussion of what is going to keep you from accomplishing what you want.
So today, in an attempt to keep you from falling into some of the same traps this humble man has fallen into a time or two, I’ll share with you 6 reasons why men fail and, in doing so, help you find a new path to thriving in what we call the Quadrants (yourself, your relationships, your health, and your wealth).
The number one reason most men fail, and the reason I fail from time to time is pride.
I’ve talked about it before but we have been led to believe that if you don’t have the answer, you’re an idiot or less of a man.
It’s unfortunate that’s the case because it drives us to go at it alone, to figure out things the hard way, and to struggle, when all we really have to do is reach out to someone who may know a few things more than we do.
The solution is simple: recognize you don’t have it all figured out and ask for help from someone who does.
Want to get in shape? Ask someone what you should do to get in shape.
Want a promotion? Ask someone to help you with the project that will help you secure your promotion.
Want to shore up the relationship with your wife? Ask someone who has a great relationship.
The solution, again, is ask. Humble yourself and reach out
When I started Order of Man in early 2015, I knew there wasn’t a lot of new information I could share with men. But what I recognized is that information isn’t really the problem.
You have access to more information in the palm of your hand than the most educated minds had a hundred years ago. Information isn’t the problem. Action (or lack thereof) is. And, more specifically, sustained action.
Motivation doesn’t cut it. Accountability doesn’t cut it. The only thing that will yield the results your after is consistent action towards your objective.
When that alarm goes off in the wee hours of the morning, it’s time to fight. It’s time to engage. It’s time to battle. All you need is to DECIDE.
We’ve all heard the acronym F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real). I disagree. Fear is real. It’s designed to keep you alive.
Running from the things that scare you, or worse, pretending it doesn’t exist will not get you closer to your goal.
Facing the enemy that is fear will. When you’re scared, acknowledge it. Recognize it for what it is and use the fear to equip and arm yourself with the tools, mindset, skill set, and resources to look it in the eye and drive on.
It’s likely that the thing you fear the most won’t kill you. It’s simply going to make you feel a little uncomfortable. Be okay with that. Discomfort is your friend, fear is your enemy.
In my experience, one of the biggest dangers we fall into is trying to be accepted by others. The way we run our marriages, our businesses, our workouts, and our lives is so centered around what other people think.
I know personally there have been times in my life where I’ve wondered whose life am I living. The answer is someone else’s.
We’re constantly bombarded by stimuli from magazines and books, to this podcast and mainstream media. And, we believe that the way one person does it is the way we should do it.
Add to that the environment of political correctness in which we live and you’re likely to withhold the way you really feel or alter your message or actions based on the perceived criticism you’ll receive from others.
If you truly want to thrive, you’ll work on overcoming what other people think about you.
Regardless of how you choose to paint it, the excuses you craft are nothing more than cleverly disguised lies.
And, what’s worse is you’ve been lying to yourself for so long that you’re actually starting to believe your own B.S.
When something doesn’t go according to plan, I’d encourage you to say, “This didn’t go well because I did or didn’t ____________.” Sure, there may be other people that have a part to play in the failure of your objective but there’s nothing you can do about another human being – only yourself.
The excuses you tell yourself lead into the last point I want to make with you today. Because you’ve been feeding yourself lies, it’s caused you to stop in your tracks. It’s caused you to question your ability to drive on and maybe even your desire to do so.
The reason a lot of men fail is because they’re so concerned with all the other reasons I shared with you today at the expense of the very action that will help them succeed in the first place.
If you want to thrive, you need to take action. You’re probably going to mess up. You’re probably going to fall short. People are probably going to mock you. So what?
You can fail at your objective so no one sees you misstep or you can struggle for a little while until you’re able to achieve what it is you’re after.
Let’s recap these again: pride comes before the fall, you don’t have an information problem; you have an action problem, fear is your enemy, acting for acceptance, excuses are lies, and sitting the sideline.
I know these factors aren’t easy to overcome. I struggle against them every day. But the times when I’ve been the happiest, most successful, and most content in my life is when I’ve recognized what I’m against and overcome them anyways.
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Someone asked me several weeks ago, "If you could have one super power, what would it be?" To which I responded, "The ability to read people's minds." As it turns out one doesn't need to be a superhero in order to possess the ability to understand what other people are thinking and, to a degree, use that knowledge to produce desired outcomes.
My guest today, the founder of Ellipsis Behavior Laboratories and the author of The Ellipses Manuel, joins me to talk about reading body language and thoughts, becoming a human lie detector, how to activate trust in others, and how to decode and decipher human behavior.
CHASE HUGHES
Chase Hughes (@thechasehughes) is a Navy veteran and an author and speaker on behavior analysis, body language and behavior engineering.
He founded Ellipsis Behavior Laboratories in 2011 and has since developed the Behavioral Table of Elements which, after pouring over this, is probably the most extensive behavioral analysis tool I've ever seen.
Chase is also the creator of other life-saving systems such as 'The Hostile Hospital' and 'Tactical Psychology'. And, if that's not enough, Chase is also in the process of developing new programs for the US Government.
He volunteers his skills by training members of anti-human trafficking teams around the world and has published two books on human behavior and over 29 articles and papers on behavior and behavior analysis.
Chase Hughes is here today to talk about the concepts from his new book, The Ellipsis Manual: Analysis and Engineering of Human Behavior.
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Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/132
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What exactly is “The Drift?” The Drift is the natural tendency we have as men to coast, and in a way, take our hands off the steering wheel of life and allow ourselves to be controlled and put ourselves at the mercy of all that life offers.
The fact is that there are forces at work against us that keep us from accomplishing what we truly want in life and, unless, we’re actively engaged in the process of intentionally living our lives, it’s very easy for us to get off course.
Today, I’m going to share with you why this happens but, more importantly, 3 measures you can take to ensure you maintain the course you are meant to maintain.
Everywhere you turn, you'll find men living what I call the sedated life. Like robots on an assembly line, these men wake up at the same time, eat the same food for breakfast, drive to work the same way every day, do the same menial tasks for 8-9 hours, drive home, kiss the wife and kids, eat dinner, watch some TV, go to bed, and do it all over again.
My guest today, former Navy SEAL and wingsuit base-jumper Andy Stumpf is the exact opposite of that. And, while we can't all be Navy SEALs, jump of really high mountains and structures, and travel the distance of 18 miles in a wingsuit, we can all take some calculated risks that make us feel alive.
Today we talk about finding something worth fighting for, eliminating emotions in the decision-making process, why people fail in the application of their goals, and how to live life on the edge.
Andy Stumpf (@andystumpf77) is a former Navy SEAL with SEAL Team Five and later joining the most elite counter-terrorism unit in the military, SEAL Team Six.
He is also 5.11 and Black Rifle Coffee Company sponsored athlete, and has an affinity for jumping off really tall mountains and perfectly good airplanes.
As impressive as that sounds, he refers to himself as a "professional gravity enthusiast" and rightfully so. He's completed wingsuit jumps lasting more that 18 miles at speeds of 161 mph.
He is the recipient of 5 Bronze Star Medals (four with valor), the Purple Heart, the Joint Service Commendation Medal, the Navy and Marine Corp Commendation Medal with Valor, three Navy and Marine Corp Achievement Medals, and two Combat Action Ribbons.
In other words, the man is a genuine Bad-A and today's he's here to talk about living life on the edge.
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Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/131
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I think it’s safe to assume by now that you probably - at least to some degree - understand that having a coach is such a valuable strategy towards becoming great, whether that’s improving your golf swing, enhancing your public speaking skills, building a solid relationship with your wife, or growing your business.
But, it amazes me how often men recognize the value of coaching in elite performers yet underestimate the power of having a coach even if you’re not at the elite level or competing on the global stage.
Today I talk about why you should consider hiring a coach and what to look for.
If you're anything like me, you are what I refer to as a "starter." I've never been at a loss for figuring out how to start things. Getting things done is a completely different story.
Today I am joined by New York Times Bestselling author, Jon Acuff. If you have a problem with finishing what you start, this is the episode for you and, I'm not going to lie, I needed this one more than most.
We talk about the developing a tolerance for imperfection, why "strategic incompetence" is a powerful tool, how to overcome what Jon calls "noble obstacles," a new spin on SMART goals, and how to finally finish what you started.
Jon Acuff
Guys, I am so stoked to be introducing you to my guest today, Mr. Jon Acuff.
I've read all four of his books and I've been trying to get him on the show for two years. The time finally came with the release of his new book today (if you're listening to this the day it is being released), Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done.
The other books I've read are Do Over, Start, and Quitter. All of which have been instrumental in helping me launch the podcast you're listening to right now.
He's a New York Times Bestselling Author. He's worked with companies like Home Depot, Staples, and The Dave Ramsey Team. He's been featured on CNN, Fox News, and other major media outlets.
This guy is intelligent, he's funny, and he's here to drop some serious knowledge on the art, science, and skill of finishing what you start.
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Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/130
Website: http://orderofman.com
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to address something that has impacted millions of people over the last several weeks and that is the nightmare in Houston created by Hurricane Harvey.
As I’ve thought about what those people must be experiencing and what we’ve seen online and on TV, I can’t help but think of a couple glaring lessons we should all look to when it comes to how we conduct ourselves as men.
I see some areas of improvement and I see some areas that, from what I can tell are absolutely amazing to see in the wake of such a horrific situation.
So, let’s get into these lessons today.
Politics - just the mention of the word infuriates most and has the ability to split up marriages and lifelong friendships alike.
What a shame, since our political environment literally permeates every single element of our lives - taxes, defense, infrastructure, education, economics, and so much more.
Today, I am joined by my good friend and mentor Sean Whalen. Sean is currently running for congress in the third congressional district in Utah. You're going to love some of what this man has to say and, I'm sure a lot of you are going to hate what he has to say.
But, regardless, I encourage you to listen with an open mind so we can prove to the world that it is possible to hold a civil and intelligent political conversation.
Gentlemen, today I get to introduce you to one of my favorite repeat guests, Mr. Sean Whalen.
Sean is a friend and mentor of mine and, although I don't agree with him on everything, I have always admired his candor and ability to hold true to his convictions.
He has done everything from MMA fighting to real estate mogul to off-road truck driver. He's talked about it all from hitting rock bottom through a bankruptcy and nasty divorce to what has become an incredible movement with Lions Not Sheep.
And, if that's not enough, he's adding Congressional Candidate to the never-ending resume that can only be Sean Whalen's.
Gentlemen, buckle up, listen up, and let's talk about men and politics.
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Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/129
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You may have heard the Latin phrase, “Memento Mori” which quite literally means “remember that you have to die.” That phrase has also been used to describe an object that serves as a reminder of death, like a skull or any other object that has that connotation.
Now, the reason I want to talk with you about this because, just prior to hitting record on this podcast, I booked a flight and hotel to go see my father who, just a couple days ago, had a heart attack. I don’t know whether he is going to live or die but, unfortunately, right now, things don’t look good. I’m sure by the time this podcast is released we’ll know if he has passed or if he’s in the clear.
As I think about all that’s gone on for me physically, mentally, and emotionally over the past 48 hours, I can’t help but think about the prospect of my own death.
So many men are afraid to even talk about style. In my experience, they believe that it's just not that important when it comes to being a man or they don't want to be viewed as anything less than manly.
I get it. I used to be the same way. That was until I understood the power of dressing well and leveling up your presence. Dressing well isn't about a well-tailored suit, fancy shoes, and overpriced jeans. It's about being deliberate and intentional about sharing with the world who you really are.
My friend, Ryan Magin joins me today to talk about what role style plays in masculinity, why men are afraid to elevate their style, something he calls "enclothed cognition" and the "halo effect," and how to use your style to have more and be more.
RYAN MAGIN
Gentlemen, my guest today is my good friend, Ryan Magin. I met Ryan three years ago as I was launching Order of Man and the StyleCon conference. I'll admit, I'm not one who is very good when it comes to what I wear and how I look.
But, I've learned a ton from Ryan about the way you look has proven to not only increase confidence in yourself but confidence from others too.
Ryan dresses well, he looks good, and his game is on-point (although I will say his style is very different than mine). But, that's the point he makes today. Is that in order to look and feel good, you have to find a style that works for you.
And, that's exactly what I've seen him do over the last three years for himself as I've watched what he's done for himself, his business, and his clients.
Guys, take notes, listen to this with an open mind, and learn how to use your style as another tool to get what you want.
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Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/128
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Most men seem to be living in the past. They live with guilt, remorse, sorrow, and regret. What a shame that is because if they’d only realize that their past experiences don’t define who they are, I think we’d see a lot more men stepping up to the responsibilities they have today.
Today, I want to share with you four steps I’ve incorporated in my life so that I live in the present moment. Yes, I learn from my experiences and reflect on the past but, only as a means to get better today, not to sit around feeling sorry for myself.
Whether you own a business or you're working your way up the corporate ladder, learning how to more effectively market yourself is a critical.
This one is a little different guys as you'll listen in on the conversation I have with my friend, Noah Kagan. We talk about business, side hustles, living from your purpose, and I even get into a small discussion about my religion. But, the underlying theme to the conversation we have today is how to more effectively market yourself.
Gentlemen, my guest today is Noah Kagan. Some of you will recognize the name, others will not.
But, if you run a website in some form or another, I'm sure that you're already using the tools he created for your business.
He is the founder of AppSumo and Sumo. He was employee #30 at Facebook and #4 at Mint (if you want to read some interesting stories, look into how he separated from each of those companies).
In other words, the guy knows what he's doing, he knows how to market himself, and he knows how to do things on a large scale. Today, he's here to talk about marketing ourselves.
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Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/127
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This podcast is a replay of my presentation at The Meltdown in the Desert. In it I talk about the dark catalyst for change in my life and the rock-bottom foundation for my growth as a man.
Without this darkness, you would not be listening to or be part of The Order of Man.
We are constantly bombarded by stimulus and, more than any other time in history, the ability to focus is becoming increasingly difficult. Focus, however, sits at the top of a list of virtues and abilities every man needs to develop if he hopes to experience any level of success in his life.
My guest today, Navy SEAL Brandon Webb, joins me to talk about how to make better decisions under pressure, the power of self-talk and visualization, how to become more effective at "violence of action," and the 7 principles for total focus.
BRANDON WEBB
My guest today is Navy SEAL Sniper and New York Times Bestselling Author, Brandon Webb.
I'm absolutely blown away by the caliber of man this guy is.
He spent 13 years with the Navy SEALs and was instrumental in redesigning the Sniper SEAL Training program which trained members such as Chris Kyle and some of the deadliest snipers in US military history.
Upon leaving, Brandon went on to found SOFREP.com and Hurricane Media which is one of the largest media organizations that focus on news and information for the special forces community.
When he's not doing all of that, he is an experimental test pilot.
As you can see, the man and his resume is impressive. And, you'll get the chance to hear exactly what I mean today in my conversation with Brandon Webb.
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Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/126
Website: http://orderofman.com
Intuition. It’s the ability to understand or recognize something about a situation or circumstance without having to analyze or break down the facts about that particular situation.
It is so critical that we, as men, learn how to hone our sense of intuition and improve our ability to listen to this little voice – however you choose to define it.
So today, as I was thinking about what I wanted to address, I thought it would be a good idea to talk about why it’s important we improve our intuition and a couple quick and easy steps each and every one of us can employ to make our intuition work better.
It all starts in the mind. Whether you're trying get into better shape, grow your bank account, start a business, become a better father, or a better man in general, growing and expanding your mind is the first step.
But, it's often one of the most overlooked muscles we use. My guest today, Learning Expert Jim Kwik joins me to talk about how to turn on your superhero brain, avoid information overload, cut through he noise and become more focused, and how to enhance the most powerful muscle we have - the mind.
JIM KWIK
My guest today is Jim Kwik. He is an expert is speed-reading, memory improvement, brain performance, and accelerated learning.
I came across his work a couple months ago and, after following him for the last couple months, and really digging into the results he is creating, I knew I needed to have him on the show.
I talk about improving the mind a lot but I wanted to have an expert on to share some of his insights and secrets.
The man is extremely qualified to talk about this (you'll hear that in our powerful conversation today) and, if you aren't convinced yet, please understand that Jim is hired by big, big companies like Virgin, Nike, Zappos, SpaceX, Fox Studios, and some of the most powerful people on the planet like Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Harrison Ford, Will Smith, and Steven Spielberg to name a few.
Enjoy this one guys and take notes.
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Depression. It’s very real. It’s very common. It’s very destructive. We all know someone who is going through a bout with depression, and, we might even know someone who has contemplated or attempted suicide.
Suicide rates are on the rise among men. In fact, as I was researching this morning, I found that some studies have shown that suicide rates among men are more than 3.5 times that of women.
I don’t know why that it is and, unfortunately, I cannot get into all the causes that may lead to what a lot of men seem to be experiencing these days but, what I would like to do is give you five strategies I’ve personally used to overcome getting down on myself and falling into a bout with depression.
There are a lot of tasks we're called to do as men. Among other things, your physical strength will make the difference between your ability to accomplish those tasks or not.
My guest today is Matt Reynolds, the founder of Starting Strength Online Coaching and a man who has nearly 20 years of experience competing in strength sports and coaching barbell-based strength and conditioning. He has not only created one of the premier online coaching services on the planet, he is my personal coach.
Today he's here to share why all men should consider adding barbell training to their routine, the core lifts we should work on improving, how strength training improves mental toughness, and how to get started on your journey to build more strength.
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I want to talk with you about building a business and the power of entrepreneurship. I know that word is a buzz-word these days but that’s because there is so much good that comes from this capitalistic society in which we live and the ability that each and every one of us have to think of an idea and, more importantly, MAKE it come to life.
Gentlemen, we all know the world can be a dangerous place. Some would argue it's becoming safer and others would argue it's becoming more dangerous.
Either way, the potential for you encountering a threat in your day-to-day life is a real possibility - and one that we, as men, should be prepared for. My guest today, Patrick Van Horne and the author of Left of Bang teaches us how to use non-verbal communication to assess threats, the common physical language all humans use, how to use "combat profiling" to keep yourself and others safe, and how the Marine Corps' Combat Hunter Program could safe your life.
PATRICK VAN HORNE
Men, I am stoked to introduce you to my guest today.
His name is Patrick Van Horne. He is a former infantry Captain with the United States Marine Corps and has been instrumental in helping develop and teach the Marine Corps Combat Hunter Program to his fellow marines, military, law enforcement officers, and civilians.
His book, Left of Bang, has been recommended to me over and over again and, a couple months ago, I finally picked up a copy. I think read it in two days - I could not put it down.
Since it was one of the best books I've read this year, I decided to reach out and extend an invite to have Patrick on the show.
Guys, let me tell you, he does not disappoint, as he talks about how he helped implement, develop, and train this course to his Marines during his two deployments to Iraq and, more recently his work with his behavioral analysis training company, The CP Journal.
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Today, I answer your questions. We talk about the most influential books I've read, my favorite quote, my personal strengths, whether or not it's better to focus on strengths and weaknesses, and a whole lot more.
We all know the best view is at the top but, the reality is that it's often the most difficult to get to. In other words, the view is earned. But, how often have we expected the view without the effort?
My guest today - and his second time on our show - is Aaron Walker, the author of View From the Top. Today we talk about the struggles of life, how to life a significant life, establishing boundaries and creating margin, and how to get that view from the top.
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Opposition is so important that there’s an entire strategy designed to use opposition to your advantage.
It’s called “Red Teaming," and the basic idea is that you build a team whose sole purpose is to challenge what it is you’re doing.
Today, I talk about why we, as men, shouldn't run away from opposition but embrace it.
So many of us are so good at making excuses. We've been doing it for so long, it's hard for us to recognize what is truth and what stories we tell ourselves that keep us from having what we truly want. Today, my guest, Erik Weihenmayer, talks with me about climbing the seven tallest peaks on each of the seven continents and kayaking 277 miles down the Colorado River. Oh yeah, did I mention he's blind? Today, we talk about identifying barriers, attracting great people in your life, using the concept of alchemy as a powerful tool in your life, and how to crush your excuses once and for all. Please leave us a review at http://orderofman.com/itunes Shownotes: http://orderofman.com/121 Website: http://orderofman.com