Every time you turn around, you're bombarded with a thousand ads, a million choices, and an endless supply of options and "opportunities." It's becoming increasingly difficult to manage the landscape of the ever-growing decisions that need to be made. Add to that our desire to be seen and perceived a certain way by people we may not even know or like, and it's easy to see why the disease of wanting more is becoming a real problem.
My guest today, Joshua Becker, makes the case for why more is less. He argues (and, I agree) that having less stuff in our life can truly unlock the key to a more meaningful and purpose-driven life. We talk about the benefits of owning less, why we have the desire to own more than we'll ever need or use, the burden extra possessions place on our lives, and how you can become a minimalist.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
JOSHUA BECKER
Gentlemen, I have the honor of introducing you to my guest today, Joshua Becker.
He is the founder of Becoming Minimalist and the bestselling author of The More of Less. And, in the spirit of the message we'll be discussing today, I will keep this introduction short.
We were introduced by a mutual friend who had taken much of what Joshua has been teaching and incorporating it into his own life. I did some initial research and immediately recognized a need to adopt the practice of "rational minimalism" into my own. I've already begun implementing some of his teachings and I can honestly say I've been able to free up more mental and physical capacity for more important pursuits in my life.
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Society is becoming softer. Society is becoming weaker. This idea of softness is perpetuated by much of society, the school system, media, and entertainment and Hollywood. We do ourselves a huge disservice when we overlook the importance of being strong, tough, gritty, resilient, and all the things that we would traditionally think of when we think of how a man shows up in life.
I'm not suggesting by any means that a man can't be loving, supportive, open, and vulnerable. Of course, he can be those things. There is a time and a place to be that way but to say that that's always the case, to say that we need to be softer at the expense of these other masculine virtues, is hurting society in general. There will come a point in time where those traditional masculine virtues are to be used in order to produce productive outcomes for ourselves, our loved ones, and the people we care about.
Typically, this manifests itself in a negative situation, whether that's something in the family like a divorce, loss of a loved one, or being laid off from a job, but it also applies to natural disasters and emergencies. For example, Hurricane Harvey in Texas and the fires in California last year. During these times, we saw countless men, step up and do what it is that men do best. We also see why strength is important in the global arena as well when it comes to military conflict, for example. It's critical we never overlook the importance of harnessing the power of being tough, resilient, gritty, et cetera.
Today, I want to talk with you about some of the consequences and symptoms of the softening of society. And, I also want to talk about why softness is spreading. I'm not a conspiracy theorist but I do think there are some factors at work here that are promoting this idea of clinging to these softer virtues at the expense of the harder virtues. We're going to talk about how we can become tougher, more resilient, and stronger because the last thing I want to do is complain, whine, or nag about a topic without providing any solutions.
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In a world where everyone and everything is clamoring for your attention, it is becomingly increasingly difficult to focus on the vital few as opposed to the trivial many.
My guest today, Greg McKeown, the New York Times Bestselling Author of Essentialism, makes the case for why less can actually be more. We talk about how to eliminate distractions, the criteria for measuring what task you should actually focus on, how to establish proper boundaries, and why every man should take on the disciplined pursuit of less.
Gentlemen, I want to introduce you to my guest today, Mr. Greg McKeown. He is a man who needs no introduction for many of you.
If you're familiar with his work at all, you've likely read the book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. In this New York Times Bestselling book, Greg makes the case for why each of us should strive to focus on the few things that actually matter as opposed to the tasks and projects many of us get bogged down with.
He's spoken all over the world at industry conferences, huge companies like Apple, Google, Facebook, and Twitter, and governments including a personal invitation from the Prince of Norway.
Needless to say, this is a man who knows what he's talking about when it comes to doing less but producing more.
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I see so many men who don't have any level of respect for themselves let alone being able to command any respect from others. I was noticing the other day as I was walking to the post office, that there were people who wouldn't even look me in the eye. And, not only would they not look me in the eye, they were working hard to ensure that they didn't have to look me in the eye. When I shake people's hand, I get these limp fish handshakes. Those are just two small examples of the manifestation of a lack of confidence. It's bad, guys. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You've seen this in co-workers, friends, kids, and maybe even yourself.
And, if you're someone who is not commanding respect, you are living a life less than you're capable of. I don't want that to be the case. I want you, as a man to step up, to be assertive, confident, to be able to ask for promotions, ask women on dates, and get out of this life what you should. And, part of that is being able to command the respect of other people.
When I talk about commanding respect, one of the things that I'm really addressing here is the idea of the "X-factor." We've all seen it. We've all been to a meeting, conference or office setting when we just feel somebody walk into the room. We turn around and see this guy who has "it," whatever "it" is. We can't quite put our finger on it but we know that this is a guy that has something special; there's something unique about this individual. What a lot of men do is write that off and dismiss it as something that he was naturally gifted or naturally born with. Sure, there may be men who have a predisposition to be more like this but I'll tell you what, being able to develop what most people write off as the "X-factor" is something that can be developed. I know this because that's what I've been able to do.
For a long time (especially when I was younger) I walked around very insecure, very complacent, and frankly just a little bit afraid and scared of life in general. I couldn't make eye contact with people. I couldn't hold a conversation. And not only that, I actually just tried to avoid people altogether. It wasn't up until relatively recently that I have been able to develop a level of confidence that allows me to look in another person's eyes. This newfound level of confidence allows me to ask and command exactly what I believe I deserve. I'm just telling you, from experience, it's a significantly better way to live.
I made a post on Instagram two or three weeks ago about teaching others how to treat you. A lot of people agreed with me and said, "Yeah, you definitely teach other people how to treat you," and other people blew that off and dismissed it. I believe that you and I are constantly teaching other people how we will be treated. We do this through our actions and our words and the way we carry ourselves We teach our kids, spouses, colleagues, employers, and bosses to what level of respect we will be treated with.
That's the last thing I want to see in men. I want men to walk around with their heads held high. I want them to have a level of confidence in what they're doing, who they are, and how they show up because I believe that this will, first, save their sanity and well-being and, second, determine much of their success.
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We all know that we need to be mentally tough. There's no question of that. Yet, forging mental toughness seems to be one of the most elusive pursuits. All of us know how to develop physical toughness but rarely do we have any practices in place that will help us develop mental toughness.
My guest today, Ryan Lange, is one of the most mentally tough men I know. It's amazing considering he's only 21 years old. I won't get into all that he's accomplished just yet but please understand that the amount of physical strain he's put on his body is simply incredible. Today we talk about developing the capability to transcend pain, fostering the willingness to embrace hardship, why hard work is omnipotent, and how to forge more mental toughness.
Ryan Lange reached out a couple months ago and asked to come on the podcast.
Honestly, at first thought, I wasn't going to have him on because so many people talk about mental toughness. It's a little like saying you want to talk about leadership.
But then, I started looking into what this kid has done. And, I say kid because he's only 20 years old. Now, I realize he's a man (not a child) but I'm absolutely blown away with what he's done already.
He's completed 50K's, 50 milers, 100 milers, and at the end of last year completed a 238 mile race in Moab, UT. To give you an idea of what that means, it took roughly 86 hours for him to complete.
I'm incredibly inspired by Ryan and his approach to mental toughness. You will be too.
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We've all seen the movie, Peter Pan. It's fictional work but it seems that more and more it paints an eerily familiar picture with what we see in the boys who never want to grow up into men.
I'll give you a prime example. Just the other day, there was a piece I read about a 30-year old man who had taken his parents to court because his parents were "evicting" him from their house. How pathetic is this? Maybe there's something wrong with this guy (obviously there's something wrong with this guy). But it's amazing that his thought process is to fight so hard to stay at home. I can't help, but there's something seriously wrong with him. But in addition to that, I can't help but think there's something wrong with the parents. How was this guy raised? How was he fathered?
When I was done with high school, we went on our senior trip. The day I got home - the very next day - I moved out. It wasn't' because I had anything against my mother but because it was time. It was time to leave the nest. I see so many boys who are more concerned with staying at home than experiencing life. They're more concerned with not having bills and upholding their responsibilities. They're more concerned with Call of Duty or Fortnite (or whatever the game is that they're playing). They're shirking their responsibilities. They don't have jobs. And, their parents are enabling them to actually do this. And we question why we're having problems with our boys turning into men. This is the failure to launch syndrome - the rise of the Peter Pans.
The good news is that there are some solutions to this. If you find yourself in a position where you're a boy or a male who wants to grow up but can't figure out how to do it, this article will provide the solution. I see so many men who use the excuse of not having a father figure in their life to justify their lack of performance as men. I can't believe that it needs to be addressed, but it certainly does. So, let's talk about this today.
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All of us have a story. We all have a past. Our prior circumstances define who we are today but do not have to define who we will become moving forward. Too bad most of us never learn to rewrite the script.
Today, I am joined by a friend and man who is impacting and influencing millions. His name is Charlie Jabaley and he's someone who walked away from a multi-million dollar business to rewrite his life, lose a massive amount of weight, become an endorsed Nike athlete, and bike across the USA. We talk about what inspired him to make a life-altering change and how he is using positivity to change the world.
I met Charlie several months ago when he and I were podcasting in St. Louis with Andy Frisella on the MFCEO Podcast.
He and I immediately hit it off and I was extremely inspired by him, his story, and the positive changes he is making in his life.
This man is a Nike endorsed athlete although he doesn't look like your typical athlete. But, it's a testament to who he is, his infectious energy, and how powerful his past, present, and future are.
Right now, he's biking across the USA in order to share his story and help others live the life they're meant to live.
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Every time we turn around it seems like there's yet another school shooting. And, from what I can see, we're addressing this from a very surface level perspective. This is not about gun control. This is not about gun regulation. In fact, I don't even believe it's fully a gun problem. I think it's a symptom of the problem but not the problem.
Obviously, it has to do with the young men who are creating these situations. But more so, we ought to put the responsibility where it truly lies, which is on us as men. I'm going to explain what I mean by that. Bear with me, because I think you're going to agree at the end of this conversation that we've got a real problem with the way that we, as men, are showing up. And the symptom of that is school shootings and some of the other atrocities that we see in society today.
Before I get into the details, I do want to say again, this is not meant to be a gun debate but there are a couple of surface level issues that I do want to address first and foremost before we get deeper into this.
So, let's begin by addressing how we physically protect our kids when they're at school. There are some very simple solutions to this:
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Today, I talk with John Gilliland about overcoming multiple suicide attempts, rising from the guilt and shame associated with it, using addiction in a positive way, and lifting yourself out of the bottom.
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Competition is such a critical component of our journey to develop masculinity and manliness. Too bad it's often viewed as an unnecessary and antiquated way of operating by much of society. Heaven forbid we hold ourselves to a high standard and teach our children to keep score.
My guest today, Jake Thompson, Founder of Compete Every Day, makes the case for utilizing healthy competition as a critical factor in improving our lives. Today, we talk about why competition is so important, why executing to failure is so powerful, why losing does not necessarily equal "loser", and why men should compete every day.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
• Why competition is important
• How competition creates opportunities and builds capabilities
• What separates those who grow with competition and those who self-destruct
• How to compete at things that aren't a competition
• Why executing to failure is so important
• Why losing does not equal "loser"
• How to separate yourself from the pack
• How to find and develop value in yourself and others
• How to teach our children to use healthy competition for growth
• Why men are uniquely desirous to keep score and how to use that to our advantage
JAKE THOMPSON
My guest today is Jake Thompson. Jake and I met last year and an American Dream U event at Fort Sill, Oklahoma.
I had the privilege of hearing him speak about the power and importance of competition and new that I wanted to have a deeper discussion with him about the concept.
The word, competition, seems to have a negative connotation surrounding it but I think you know as well as I do how powerful competition can actually be.
In a world that likes to take it easy and shy away from keeping score, Jake is encouraging more people to do it through his organization, Compete Every Day, and as a speaker, author, and coach.
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There is a gap in most men's lives and, in fact, I would argue in every man's life. This gap represents what we know we should be doing versus the things that we're actually doing. This is the integrity gap. The larger that gap is, the less fulfilled, the more unhappy, the more unpleasant, and depressed you will be. The smaller that gap, the more fulfillment, satisfaction, joy, contentment, happiness, wealth, and prosperity will come into your life.
There was a time in my life roughly 10 years ago where I had a huge integrity gap in my life (again, the gap between what I knew I should be doing and what I was actually doing). Here's the reality: Everybody that reads this, including you, knows what you should be doing.
If I were to ask anyone, "How do you lose weight?" 99.9% of people would say, "Well, I probably ought to eat a little bit better and exercise a little bit more." If I were to ask how to build more wealth in your life, everybody out there would say, "I need to find a way to make more money and/or spend less money."
These are not secrets. This is not rocket science here. Everybody knows what they should be doing, yet when you look around in society you can plainly see that many individuals are not living up to their potential. That's the integrity gap. It's knowing what you should be doing, and not doing it.
Living with this gap is the most unpleasant, unsatisfying, and miserable time in any person's life. But rather than just tell you that there's this big integrity gap and you need to figure out a way to bridge it (which you certainly do) I want to share with you a very simple formula that will help you bridge the gap.
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Today, I talk with Cody Duffney about the execution of discipline, the power of internal reflection, correcting mistakes quickly, and accepting points of weakness.
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Continuing on the theme from last week (because I believe this is such a critical topic right now), today we talk about the fact that young boys seem to be going astray. The school system is stacked against them, society seems to be dismissing masculinity altogether, and being a man is something that actually has to be defended.
My guest, Dr. Leonard Sax, joins me to talk about 5 factors driving an epidemic of unmotivated boys and underachieving young men, how the school system needs to be overhauled if we are to re-engage our boys, the dangers of endocrine disruptors in men's lives, and how boys are going adrift and, more importantly, how to get them back on track.
I was introduced to Dr. Leonard Sax's work through my wife as she picked up a couple books on her pursuit to more effectively raise our boys.
She came across two books in particular: Boys Adrift and Why Gender Matters. After she got done reading them, she asked if I would. From the opening remarks, I knew this guy had some of the answers to the challenges we seem to be facing in raising young men.
Dr. Sax is an MIT graduate, a physician, and a psychologist and has been practicing for nearly 30 years. He is well-versed (as you'll hear today) in gender issues and the crisis our young men and women seem to be facing today.
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Today, I want to talk about such an important topic and one which is easy to overlook simply because we’ve all heard about it so often. That said, I believe establishing a healthy morning routine is one of the most important things you can do during your day as it really establishes the benchmark, the framework, and the foundation for the way the rest of your day will go.
The reason that I think most people overlook (or can’t even stick to a morning routine) is because there’s so much advice about it already and we begin to believe that we have to pigeonhole ourselves into one way of doing it. Here’s what I’m here to tell you: I’m going to share my morning routine. Now, that doesn’t make it the morning routine. It simply means that it works for me. The most powerful thing if you can do with regards to your morning routine is to find something that works for you.
This is a process of experimentation. So, again, I’m going to share with you what works for me. If you like it, adopt it. If you don’t like it, don’t adopt it. If you like parts of it, adopt part of it. You get the idea.
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Today, I talk with Joshua Laycock about his awakening, why "good enough" is your enemy, the power of your potential, and how to train your mind.
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This one is special to me. As most of you know, I grew up without a permanent father figure in my life. I've mentioned in the past that there was a select group of men who helped mold and shape me into the man that I am today. I'm not sure there is another man in my young life who was as influential as my guest today. His name is Matt Labrum and he was my high school football and baseball coach.
Today, we talk about his influence in my life and thousands of other young men's lives, the power of allowing kids to fail (including some failures of my own), why competitive sports are so valuable in a young man's life, why he cut his entire team from the football program, and a man's responsibility to future generations.
Men, I did this interview a little while ago and I've been anxiously waiting to release it to you. Every single one of us has some very influential people in our lives. Today, I'm talking with probably the most influential man in mine, especially as a young boy learning to become a man. He is a high school educator. He has been teaching for more than two decades and, in addition to that, he is a high school baseball coach (when I was in school, he was the head football, basketball, and baseball coach).
He gained some national attention several years ago after cutting his entire football team from the program for grade and attendance issues, and how his team was showing up in the community and at school.
This is a man I admire and respect as he shaped a lot of who I was as a young man and who I am still becoming. He never took it easy on me. We talk about two experiences in particular during this conversation but I never doubted how much he cared about my progress and the progress of the boys under his care.
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You’ve likely heard of the phrase “zero fu*ks given.” While I can understand to a degree what anyone may be saying when they use that term, I can’t help but see the mistake in that line of thinking – especially for men. Your job is the exact opposite of that sentiment. Your job is to care about a lot, and be a man of value in the walls of your home, inside your business, and out in your community.
But if you walk around with a chip on your shoulder and take the stance that everyone else should leave you alone and there’s nothing you should really care about, I’ve got to think you’re missing a big element of what it means to be a man. Not to mention, you’re limiting your potential and the potential of those around you.
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Today, I talk with Doug Hershberger about losing massive weight, stoicism, learning to control what you can, being a steward over yourself, and moving from complacency to contentment.
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Guys, if you listen to just one of my podcast, please make it be this one. Today, I am joined by my friend and fellow soldier, Braxton McCoy. He and I served in Iraq together in 2005-2006. One day we were playing softball together and the next day, I hear he's been hit by a suicide bomber with multiple fractures and life-threatening injuries to himself and others. I didn't fully realize the extent of his injuries until this interview.
This one is raw, it's truthful, and it's extremely insightful when it comes to one soldier's perspective of war, responsibility, obligation, and liberty. We talk about the truths and fallacies of PTSD, overcoming the demons of war, how a near-death experience changes your perspective, and the true cost of liberty.
SHOW HIGHLIGHTS
BRAXTON MCCOY
As I mentioned before, I have my friend and fellow soldier, Braxton McCoy on the show today.
We've lost touch over the past 10 years or so since we served together in Iraq but when I found out he had written a book about our experience and, more specifically, his experience in Iraq, I knew that this would make for a powerful conversation.
After more than a decade of physical therapy and more surgeries than I care to think about, Braxton has regained most of his strength and rebounded emotionally from an extremely traumatic situation.
He has twice served as National Advocate for the Army Wounded Warrior Program, and twice as Veterans’ Advocate for the Coalition of Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans in the District of Columbia. His four years as an advocate were focused on getting veterans back to work, as a meaningful way to outflank Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
In 2013, Braxton McCoy started Warrior Employment Project, a non-profit designed to connect veteran families-in-need with CEO’s and CIO’s leading to the veterans’ employment.
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Some of the greatest men the world has ever known are voracious readers. Teddy Roosevelt was said to read a book every morning. General James Mattis is said to have a library of over 600 books. Bill Gates reads a book a week. Mark Cuban reads for 3 hours every day. Elon Musk was once asked how he learned to build rockets, to which he replied, “I read books.”
Now, I’m not suggesting that by simply reading books, you will achieve the types of results these men have achieved but, reading and acquiring new knowledge through the written word is something that seems to be a common thread line through most, if not all, successful people.
Today, I’ll share with you why that is and I’ll also be issuing you a challenge we’re going to be holding over the next 30 days.
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Today, I talk with Pierre Azzam about overcoming introversion, the feeling of being lost and turning information into application.
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There is no such thing as the self-made man. While I can certainly understand and even appreciate the gesture, the truth is that every successful man had some help along the way. That help usually comes in the form of others.
My guest today is David Burkus. He is the author of Friend of a Friend: Understanding the Hidden Networks That Can Transform Your Life and Career. Today, we talk about the power of "weak ties," how to leverage "preferential attachment," how to become a super connector, and how to tap into your hidden networks.
Today, I have the honor of introducing you to my friend, David Burkus.
As you might imagine, I have the opportunity to talk with hundreds and hundreds of successful men but David is someone who stands out to me as one of the most intelligent, articulate, and well-researched guests we've had on.
He is a best-selling author, a speaker, and associate professor at Oral Roberts University. In his new book (which I highly recommend), David offers readers a new perspective on how to grow their networks and build key connections—one based on the science of human behavior, not rote networking advice.
He’s delivered keynotes to the leaders of Fortune 500 companies and the future leaders of the United States Naval Academy. His TED Talk has been viewed over 1.8 million times and he is a regular contributor to Harvard Business Review.
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I want to talk with you about building a thriving tribe. Now, this may be a conversation geared towards those who are working to build their own business/social media tribes like we’ve done here but, really, it’s for any man who wants to lead. And, all men are leaders.
So, whether you’re leading a tribe of hundreds of thousands that spans the entire planet (like we are here), or you’ve been tasked with leading a new project at work, or you’ve got a wife and children to protect, provide, and preside for, or you’re a coach or school teacher, or in the military, or going to school, we all have tribes to lead. Today, I’m going to walk you through a few key insights that have helped me build this tribe significantly larger and more significant than I ever could have imagined.
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Today, I talk with Kipp Sorensen about taking complete ownership in divorce, being more emotionally available in relationships, and living a life of integrity and authenticity.
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Today, we talk about something we've never directly addressed on this podcast, God. Now, before you tune me out based on that word alone, I believe that regardless of what you believe, there is something to be learned in every conversation and every experience.
That's why, when my friend, Dale Partridge reached out to talk about his new book, Saved From Success, I knew I needed to have him on. At the risk of losing a few listeners and receiving a few disapproving emails, I thought this was a conversation worth having. We talk about Dale's definition of success compared to much of society's, why men are hesitant to surrender to a higher power, how to develop a life of significance and meaning, and how all of us can be saved from success.
Today, I have the honor of introducing you to my friend and repeat guest, Dale Partridge. I had him on the show in June of last year to talk about turning your passion into your profession.
About a month or so ago, he reached out to me regarding his new book and I thought it would make for an interesting conversation.
For those of you who may not know, Dale is an extremely successful entrepreneur and the founder of Startup Camp, which teaches aspiring entrepreneurs the ropes when it comes to building businesses.
I've been following him and his message for a long time and we've managed to build a friendship through our mutual work in calling men to step up to be men in their homes, their communities, their business, and every other facet of their lives.
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