Whether it’s the argument that you got in with you wife, the way you treated your children, how you may have handled a situation at work, or with a client, there’s no doubt that all of us have faced guilt in our lives. This is natural and, actually, a productive emotion to experience.
I know a lot of you, when I say that guilt is productive, are wondering what exactly I’m talking about but I firmly believe that the range of emotions we experience – even the negative emotions are helpful. Negative (as well as positive emotions) are simply indicators of our lives. They tell us what’s going well, what’s not going well and where we need to focus our attention and energy in order to produce new outcomes.
It’s when we dwell on these emotions or allow them to cripple us from doing the work we know we should be doing that it becomes a problem. And, I see this time and time again with the men within The Order. They make a mistake they regret and, rather than learning from it, they wallow in their own self-pity and completely incapacitate themselves and their ability to move on and improve as a result of their mistake.
Look, I get it. I’ve made mistakes that I haven’t been proud of but dwelling on the past does nothing to enhance your future and there certainly isn’t anything you can do about it other than you those mistakes as fuel to alter the course of your life moving forward.
And, that’s what I want to talk with you about today. I want to talk with you about three very simple steps you can use to overcome the destructive power of unchecked emotions. Let me be clear though, I’m not talking about hiding emotions or just getting over it. I’m talking about using these powerful feelings we all experience to do the work of a man.
See, there seems to be two sides of the fence on this. One side says, “Men don’t express emotions.” The other side says, “Men need to be vulnerable.” I don’t sit fully with either camp. I think there’s a time and place for everything. There’s a time I can and need to be vulnerable and a time, where I need to simply get over it and re-engage in the work that needs to be done.